RYAN AIR EMERGENCY "VOLCANIC ASH" FARE INCREASES.
Irish RIVER DANCING and RYAN AIR prodigy Michael Flatulence O'leary has just announced that all RYAN AIR passengers who cannot properly pronounce
E - Y - J - A - F - J - A - L - L
- O - F - U - K - A - L - L
the rumoured name for an Iceland volcano will pay an extra 25 pounds each way on any un-useable RYAN AIR return tickets and 40 pounds extra each way when flights resume. Anyone caught smoking and/or reciting the above in a RYAN AIR pay-to-enter on a "priority basis" in-flight toilet will also be surcharged a further twelve quid.
While planes are grounded RYAN AIR will allow Tom Dick or Paddy to use their on-plane toilet facilities at ninety pounds a throw - or two goes for one forty. Priorty bum wipes still available on request when accompanied by a well 'orf adult or Nick Clegg.
posted by Ian Cameron aka KILROY WAS-A-HERO @ 04:26
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