Stockwell Toilet Watch

As old Tom Paine might have said if he could have even cared a rotting fig about kick about "these are the times that try men's souls". And poor local Portuguese Lib Dem goal keeper LINO DIOGO deserves a plaudit or two for having done his honourable damnedest.

Of course it was a 3 - 0 victory to the STOCKWELL NEWTS. Even Actress-Councillor Baroness Imogen Walker of Larkhall Park Gated Community shone out - which is another absolute tragedy in itself. If not for her then certainly for the rest of us.

Mind you under pressure during the "kick about" competition she confessed a passing sympathy for pensioners who due to lack of local Central Stockwell Public Toilets for 22 years plus have suffered - and continue to do so. But she cant abide political satire especially when aimed in her "negligent newt" direction. Shame political Playwrite and Poet Harold Pinter has died or he could have been protectively summoned to her actress side. Poor dimwit Imogen how the heart yearns to reach out and comfort her.

To get back to equally tragic goal keeper DIOGO - that goal mouth was far to big for him to take full charge of. It will takle him very many years to recover. At the moment he is on round the clock "suicide watch" and when he is as reasonably fit and well again as one could expect there will be a truly noisey huge "BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO GOALIE DIOGO" Portuguese Community celebratory Kennington Park shin dig - including endless free helpings of Sardines dipped in the blood of CHRIST knows what.