Stockwell Toilet Watch

PHIL COLLINS "IN THE AIR TONIGHT" ?.

Plenty "in the air tonight" alright, but 'fraid not - not Phil Collins - wish it was but more likely it'd be Clare Short "caught short" (check out previous posts). Anyway hi very glad you could come. Ah Stockwell!! Got your wellies? Ah yes, you'll need 'em, lucky old you. Nearly closing time, so we'll just take a short stroll. Along the Clapham Road, from Surridge Court to Stockwell Tube Station. The launderette is duly barred and bolted. All quiet. "Better Bookies" is illuminated and snug too - even "DUNKERS ALLEY" (immediately adjacent - see earlier posts) has no momentary fly-by-night urinators. (Place your bets eh?).

And... here ... we .... are..... at the first of the 3 public bench seats facing out across Stockwell Partnerships "studded euro-starred" wide pavements to the bus stop. A few empty beer cans dumped ... ah unmissable a rivulet of fresh urine. It's gleaming and glistening in the bright lamplight and has almost (but not quite) made it from the wall behind the bench seat down to the kerbside. Step carefully.

Ah ha!! the next bench seats loom large as do a few more discarded beer cans. One furtive cove is hiding away a can of beer off his person between gluggs. And hey presto at least two more glistening rivers of piss. They have managed to make their whole unwholesome journey to the kerbside hard by the next bus stop. Those who had need of a public loo have been sorely disappointed, even much used Dunkers Alley hasn't had its customary urine treatments on this merry "piss-happy" night. Friday night is piss on the pavements night along here. Really tugs at the old heart strings.

We'll return whence we began but via another route - via Binfield and Studley Roads. Ah here we are at the small British Transport Police doorway at the rear of Stockwell Station - bang opposite Dr Sally Whittet's surgery. Ah what's this? As usual - yet more rivers of piss - and right next to the BTP door too - sometimes they piss all up the door. .

Welcome to Stockwell and welcome to the Studley Estate, where spring is prematurely on the urine impregnated air. No great shakes - 'cos thanks to "anti-social LAMBETH COUNCIL" (see kilroys earlier LLOGOSBO's post) in these parts the whole year is urine impregnated. No wonder cop-out "junk mail" propaganda broadsheet sheet "LAMBETH Life" has so studiously avoided ever writing about it.

posted by Ian Cameron aka KILROY WAS-A-HERO @ 04:20