Saturday, 30 June 2012
COOTAN ARTS PERMANENT “CAMBERWELL GREEN” POSITION.
The successful candidate will have been adjudged against the following criteria:
(1) Will be aged at least 100 and have lived in Camberwell Green for at least 95 years.
(2) Will know the ins and outs of the Camberwell Green neighborhood like the back of their own cranium
(3) Will adore beautiful sunny English summers should one ever perchance arise.
(4) Will be expected to have at least as many 2012 remaining front teeth as the heartening early Nineties ex “VAMPIRES SUCKIN' PUS'” BRIXTON POET – STEVE MICALEF - here.
(5) Will be a fully paid up member of
HELLS BEIGELS BRICK LANE CHAPTER.
(6) Will have a body weight at least equal to that of CoolTan Arts Trustees "Chair" Mr Amos Philipps.
(7) Extremely important – will be expected to SHUFFLE with unfathomable enthusiasm.
(8) The person appointed could be either male or female but males are unlikely to be seriously successful even though they may even be LGBTG enthusiasts.
AT PRESENT NO CLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS HAS BEEN SET.