WEEPY PRINCE PHILLIP CANCELS DUBAI STATE VISIT SO AS TO PARTICIPATE IN STOCKWELL HARE SHOOT.
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A weepy shadowy-eyed >Prince Phillip< has cancelled his State visit to Dubai. A lot of speculative concern was being voiced about the Royals especially Phillip in case he was not alright up-top. However they appear to be in fine fettle. Phillips great sadness apparently stemmed from his fear that a State visit by the Royals to Dubai would result in their being unable to participate in a STOCKWELL HARE SHOOT but the grand occasion went off as shitilly as the Royals (so-called) could ever have expected.
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At Venn Street Clapham Common as the Royals made their way back to Sandringham Phillip and other Royal untouchables stopped off to relieve themselves in a temporary portaloo - there being no proper public toilets anywhere in the STOCKWELL - CLAPHAM area to otherwise accomodate their grubby needs. One relieved on-looker who did not want to be named said: "as ever the trigger happy Royals were really full of shit so this portaloo was an absolute God send". The loo is to be removed ceremonially and re-exhibited on the ANTIQUES ROADSHOW some time later this century.
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No Hares were available for interview.
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Meanwhile The Princess Margaret is >about to find< her reputation in a spot of embarassing bother for having had a 1970's relationship with reportedly "very well endowed" London gangster >John Bindon<. Additionally there is also the John Bindon London Red Lion Square >Pavarotti< connection.
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