Stockwell Toilet Watch

In the end it was just bound to happen, STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH is such a powerhouse organisation with agents and sleuths burrowing in the depths or urine and excrement both on the UK home front as well as internationally so it was bound to happen. As blogged only last week STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH’s managing director chanced upon an afternoon ROME Villa Glori couple doing it for all they were worth against a tree (>>see<<). Now something even more sensational has (so to speak) fell in our lap – nothing less than a "WORLD EXCLUSIVE” – not just an oversexed couple getting their rocks off. STOCKWELL TOWERS eat your heart out. It’s no wonder that the rear ends that run LAMBETH COUNCIL (so-called) tried to gag us (>>see<<). Rock on you Lambeth rear ends.

Pretty soon now that grand old man of USA politics will be moving on. He knows he’s a touch unpopular in some quarters – some folk are never satisfied. Anyway when he bows out, like our own extremely sad case Liar Blair eventually had to, he’ll still need to keep his hand in, make a modest living and most important keep a low profile – he knows there are a few hot heads who would overstep the mark and do him serious harm if half a chance fell into their lap.

Be assured that matters are proceding so that when DUBYA bows out a low level role will be found for him off the international scene. STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH’S M D had absolutely no idea this morning when he travelled out to BOREHAMWOOD what a biggy would drop into his lap. Arriving at BOREHAMWOOD STATION one of two staff looked a touch twitchy – one even used his mobile phone – our MD was momentarily reminded of poor Menezes being eyed up by the out of control KRATOS PLUS posse.

Anyway BOREHAMWOOD STATION unlike STOCKWELL STATION at least has adequate Public Toilet provision – indeed they are even free. Our MD went in, locked the door, adjusted his webbing, loosened his gaiters and took a pew. No “Oi Oi Oi” banging on the door. Phew we’re in luck. It was when he was re-robing that the shit really big time hit the fan – there on the door was the toilet cleaning roster, the toilet was clean and tidy so it would seem the provision is being adequately administered. It was at that moment that our MD took a wee professional mo' to check the cleaning frequency – all this info gets indexed and collated in STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH’s extensive archives. Well our MD had to grab a hold of the the side wall hand basin when he clocked who’d last cleaned the BOREHAMWOOD “facility. Not “Hakeem” or “JACK” (Initial Towel operatives to a man). It was none other than George W Bush.

Still flabberghasted our MD tried to engage BORHAMWOD STATION staff for more information but they remained tight lipped – though one dropped the throwaway remark “look don’t mess things up – he’s only done it once so far and we could well do without any fuss”. There was a well thumbed copy of METRO newspaper on the karsey floor opened at a spread of lovely George W photos – one showed him looking through field glasses with both lense caps still on. BOREHAMWOOD is clearly all set for the up’n’up. Lucky old Hakeem and JACK.