SENSATIONAL - SHORT SIGHTED LAMBETH COUNCIL ON "FAG ENDS"
Hold onto your braces - for Lambeth Council's "LAMBETH Life" August propaganda biggy. As ever take a big bow would-be-newspaper-columnist Council Leader Steve Reed. You couldn't make him or his posse up they really DO exist.
But first things 2nd - don't wanna default on past promises - the above piccys are the "further info" on the only "unisex 4 seater on-street pubic toilet" in the vicinity of STOCKWELL STATION (for fuller details see earlier blog post immediately below). You've just come off the tube after suffering endless delays, you're dying for an edifying crap - sharp right outside the station, 2o paces and there you are - get undressed and get on with it - and its FREE. There's blog comment that the bench needs a canopy NOW - its got one - a spreading excrement chestnut tree! The "canopy" hasn't just arrived - and nor have the "many layered" pigeon decorations - totally untouched its been accumulating daily for months.
Now read on to discover the current preoccupations of Lambeth Council's "Street Care Team". They certainly aren't monitoring the above day-in and day-out much used on-street public toilet. As if they would!!
"Lambeth Life"(August 2007 edition) communicates the Council's BIG CURRENT WORRY and - wait for it - it's FAG ENDS. Lambeth are going to install 150 bins borough wide in which smokers can deposit their fag ends. And be warned drop any form of faggy "cigarette related litter" on the deck (its "anti social" - ho hum unlike not providing much needed public toilets) and you could be landed with an £80 fine - including a single match stick presumably. The Council's Street Care Team is in hot pursuit and in a state of trauma.
Its' a pity that Steve "you-couldn't-make-him-up" Reed and the Street Care Team aren't even a touch assiduous in supporting persons "caught short" around Stockwell who for years now have had to shite and pee in public corners because there are NO public toilets. Who picks that up? Maybe our short sighted Street Care Team will look beyond "fag ends" and clock kilroys pic's. Don't hold your breath.
By all means do enjoy our much decorated unisex 4 seater but please - don't drop any fag ends or match sticks while you are "in-situ" - or you may end up with 4 fewer £20 notes to wipe your rear end on. If you have to seek "relief" here (or in another quiet local corner) 'cos there are NO loo's anywhere the cops aren't too likely to nick you - especially if you have a medical condition - but if you're a smoker you could come unstuck if you've dropped a fag end on top of your pile - maybe up the path alongside Stockwell's BETTER BOOKIES. On the other hand disguised as "LAMBETH Life" the Council will continue to drop its own monthly "litter" through local letter boxes.
posted by Ian Cameron aka KILROY WAS-A-HERO @ 07:22
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