Tuesday, 28 October 2008


Click on IMAGE to check out BOREHAMWOOD's world famous toilet roster.

In the end it was just bound to happen, STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH is such a powerhouse organisation with agents and sleuths burrowing in the depths or urine and excrement both on the UK home front as well as internationally so it was bound to happen. As blogged only last week STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH’s managing director chanced upon an afternoon ROME Villa Glori couple doing it for all they were worth against a tree (>>see<<). Now something even more sensational has (so to speak) fell in our lap – nothing less than a "WORLD EXCLUSIVE” – not just an oversexed couple getting their rocks off. STOCKWELL TOWERS eat your heart out. It’s no wonder that the rear ends that run LAMBETH COUNCIL (so-called) tried to gag us (>>see<<). Rock on you Lambeth rear ends.

Pretty soon now that grand old man of USA politics will be moving on. He knows he’s a touch unpopular in some quarters – some folk are never satisfied. Anyway when he bows out, like our own extremely sad case Liar Blair eventually had to, he’ll still need to keep his hand in, make a modest living and most important keep a low profile – he knows there are a few hot heads who would overstep the mark and do him serious harm if half a chance fell into their lap.

Be assured that matters are proceding so that when DUBYA bows out a low level role will be found for him off the international scene. STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH’S M D had absolutely no idea this morning when he travelled out to BOREHAMWOOD what a biggy would drop into his lap. Arriving at BOREHAMWOOD STATION one of two staff looked a touch twitchy – one even used his mobile phone – our MD was momentarily reminded of poor Menezes being eyed up by the out of control KRATOS PLUS posse.

Anyway BOREHAMWOOD STATION unlike STOCKWELL STATION at least has adequate Public Toilet provision – indeed they are even free. Our MD went in, locked the door, adjusted his webbing, loosened his gaiters and took a pew. No “Oi Oi Oi” banging on the door. Phew we’re in luck. It was when he was re-robing that the shit really big time hit the fan – there on the door was the toilet cleaning roster, the toilet was clean and tidy so it would seem the provision is being adequately administered. It was at that moment that our MD took a wee professional mo' to check the cleaning frequency – all this info gets indexed and collated in STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH’s extensive archives. Well our MD had to grab a hold of the the side wall hand basin when he clocked who’d last cleaned the BOREHAMWOOD “facility. Not “Hakeem” or “JACK” (Initial Towel operatives to a man). It was none other than George W Bush.

Still flabberghasted our MD tried to engage BORHAMWOD STATION staff for more information but they remained tight lipped – though one dropped the throwaway remark “look don’t mess things up – he’s only done it once so far and we could well do without any fuss”. There was a well thumbed copy of METRO newspaper on the karsey floor opened at a spread of lovely George W photos – one showed him looking through field glasses with both lense caps still on. BOREHAMWOOD is clearly all set for the up’n’up. Lucky old Hakeem and JACK.

Monday, 27 October 2008


Click on article to ENLARGE text.


A cabbie (mistaken for a twitchy MENEZES) got bashed up by a London cop.

The cop, who dropped his wallet trying to save his skin, has been fortunate enough to learn that his wallet was recovered at the scene, which he had fled, presumably in fear for his life.

A spokesman for the IPCC could not be contacted for a comment.

Saturday, 25 October 2008


Below are the opening 3 paragraphs from todays’s Guardian report by Sandra Laville and Vikram Dodd (>>see<<) mis-describing the non-appearence yesterday at the MENEZES INQUEST of the code named firearms officer "CHARLIE 12" who actually shot Menezes to pieces.

“For members of the public he was merely a voice, hidden behind 10-foot screens to protect his anonymity, and known only as Charlie 12. At 1.46pm, two hours into his evidence, he suddenly became human.

Much has been written about what happened inside tube carriage 53613, where Jean Charles de Menezes lost his life in a confluence of circumstances on which an inquest jury will have to pass judgment. Yet until now nothing has been heard from the man who pulled the trigger at point blank range, firing at least three times into the head of de Menezes, who he assumed was a suspected suicide bomber.

In a conference room at Oval cricket ground yesterday, the firearms officer, who has served 25 years in the police, faced the dead man's mother and brother to explain his role in the tragedy….”

Er… correction …the officer (hidden behind screens) very obviously did NOT in fact "FACE the mother and brother of MENEZES".

Thursday, 23 October 2008


------------------- Click on image to ENLARGE >>TREE<<>

For the moment forget Hello Hello hello - from Drastic to Plastic (>>see<<). Anyone ever clocked a cop surveillance vehicle up a tree? Seems it may not be impossible. Take the July 2005 police execution of Menezes. How could it be that in the aftermath of that total police balls-up media reports a-plenty separately reported that one of the cops on surveillance duty outside Menezes home was taking a pee “behind a tree” when Menezes emerged, and so matters had not been handled as they ought to have been. We know from detailed evidence currently being given at the MENEZES INQUEST – indeed being given by the peeing cop himself - that he WAS occupied with relieving himself at the crucial moment. So if he really was taking a pee those early media reports were based on substance of some sort and presmumably it wasn’t the tree that was leaking the media beans back in July/August 2005. It is very unlikely that they were underhand left wing conspiratorial leakings so upsetting to Nick Cohen. Not very professional old chap peeing behind a tree on a life ‘n’ death op! Better clean our image up.

So how did that tree ever get into the media in the first place? Was the surveillance van up the said tree? “Frank” the surveillance cop concerned has said at the INQUEST that he had one hand free to grab his radio and pass on some info’ about Menezes. He doesn’t mention a tree at all but a vehicle. His other hand is either holding a plastic bottle to catch his liquid wisdom or holding his plonker to guide it’s aim. Would be a very clever mauler to achieve both ends simultaneously. 'Course if it WAS a tree pee he could've had both hands in his pockets. Either way we haven’t heard the whole story – woops I mean “stories”. If only tree’s could talk – what tales they might tell. I saw an afternoon couple having full intercourse only last week against one in Rome’s beautiful VILLA GLORI. They walked straight past me and just got on with it about 50 yards away. I don’t think they were undercover cops. On 2nd thoughts!!


Wednesday, 22 October 2008


The TODAY PROGRAMME featured the very serious problem of inadequate public toilet provision stressing the concerns of AGE CONCERN and additionally the need for greater provision for women who are in fact pro rata less well catered for than men. John Humphries characteritsd the problem as "A SCANDAL". STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH made the following brief statement to the programme.

"Here at STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH we were very glad that the TODAY programme featured the lack of public toilet provision and cited the VERY SERIOUS concerns - as we have repeatedly on our BLOG - of AGE CONCERN. Similarly we have highlighted to seemingly deaf ears the plight of women - that was stressed a year or two ago in the LONDON GLA "AN URGENT NEED REPORT". LAMBETH are installing one or two late night "pissoirs" which will actually function relatively rarely and not cater for women - and won't be local to central Stockwell - where there has been no provision since our decades old toilets were closed by the Council 20 years ago. A Community Toilet Scheme is supposed to be on the way - it is making very slow progress indeed with barely any feed back. We very much hope that Parliament will eventually make it obligatory for local authorities to ensure adequate public toilet provision. It is an absolute disgrace in the year 2008 that public toilets are not being provided".

The TODAY PROGRAMME provided a website link (>>see<<) for a public toilet locations in the UK and in other regions - surprise surprise NO LOCATIONS TO DATE for LAMBETH.

Monday, 20 October 2008


Pretty soon after innocent Jean Charles de Menezes got blown to bits at STOCKWELL STATION on July 22 2005 a narrative of sorts about what had happened began to emerge. Consistantly - even up to the present time - the cops have claimed that Menezes rejoining a No. 2 bus at Brixton Station on the morning of his police execution was a suspicious act designed to cover up his terrorist intentions. In reality he rejoined the bus onward to STOCKWELL of course because Brixton Station (due to a security alert) that morning was closed. He did NOT rejoin it because he had terrorist intentions and wanted to work a double bluff on survellance cops etc., etc.,

Again the police claimed and still claim that they believed he was trying to work a pro terrorist fast one. There were countless media reports soon after Menezes execution angling that Menezes was trying to work a fast one with the bus change. It's important to note how soon and how consistantly these cynical police claims have been propagated over the period.

By the time that the INDEPENDENT POLICE COMPLAINTS COMMISSION got onto the plot to investigate what had happened, this Menezes bus change allegation was well known. At the current INQUEST it has come to light that Lambeth Council CCTV cameras show Menezes as part of "a crowd" of persons before he re-joines the No. 2 bus because Brixton Station was closed.

Anyone who knows Brixton Station Victoria Line rush hour commuter-land behaviour knows that the scene there is incredibly busy and so when the news broke that Menezes had been blown away by police who claimed that he'd acted suspiciously at Brixton by rejoining the bus one immediately wondered about a number of things. Firstly, how long had Brixton Station been closed? Maybe it was for some time and that it continued for some time?? Did the police ALREADY know that there'd been a closure due to a security alert? Maybe they did know? Was Menezes only one of many persons having to rejoin buses to wheresoever because of the Station closure? Would be very surprising if he wasn't doing exactly as others were doing.

So you'd expect that the INCOMPETANT POLICE COMPLAINTS COMMISSION as part of its MENEZES investigations would have got its head round this aspect of what occurred on that day.

Last week STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH's Kilroy took this matter up with the IPCC - partly because the question seems never to have got addressed and because CRESSIDA DICK is still stressing the suspicious nature of MENEZES behaviour in re-joining the Brixton bus.

The IPCC are "CAUGHT SHORT" big-time on this one and what follows is the wording of the IPCC response: " Dear Mr C... Thank you for your e mails. As indicated by the Stockwell 1 report, the time, duration and reasons for closure of Brixton underground station was not amongst the matters reported and investigated by IPCC".

The correspondence was copied to Lambeth MP KATE HOEY who replied that "it was a good question"... and in response to the IPCC response she had this to say "I am really surprised by this. Kate".

Saturday, 18 October 2008


----------- Click on IMAGE to ENLARGE text and MUG SHOT

The above is an item of early KILROY "STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH" ephemera. It alludes indirectly to cops having a propensity for getting "caught short". We are advised that even if that happens not to worry as our droppings will get sorted and even if one get's shot by the Old Bill they'll handle the media and we won't even know it happened. Behind these pointed advices lay the MENEZES EXECUTION helped along by surveillance officers among whom one (named Frank) when he should have been watching the plot was widely reported soon after Menezes death to have been taking a leak behind a TREE.

With the MENEZES INQUEST now at full tilt the story has been cleaned-up. FRANK is now said to have been relieving himself into a plastic bottle (>>see<<). Phew that's a relief - if only he'd had a photo of Osman too it might have saved MENEZES' life. I know that that is asking for rather a lot. Tomorrow an IPCC participant also "caught short".

Tuesday, 7 October 2008


Pretty straight-forward really. Only wish public toilet reinstatement and renewal was similarly simple and straightforward. No chance. It's a year down the swanee since the South London Press ran its (5 Oct 2007) 2 pager "STILL NO MOVEMENT TO IMPROVE TOILETS" fingering Lambeth Council for having done nothing for nearly 3 years (even by then) despite being requested over and over to take action. The portico of Brixton Town Centre St Matthews Church had become the local overnight clubland bog. Sunday morning worshippers had to clean it all up before prayers!! And in reality how much has been achieved so far since October 2007? In central Stockwell absolutely zilch, nothing, and so far as Kilroy is aware ditto Central Brixton. Indeed last week the Ritzy Cinema which had shown a reasonable attitude to folk "caught short" imposed a lock down. LAMBETH COUNCIL - a truly crap outfit. It can't even keep central Stockwell's pavements clean.

Thursday, 2 October 2008


Mayfair's well heeled who have been living day in and day out in the shadow of Grosvenor Square's somewhat hated USA Embassy have been screaming their heads off for half a decade to get shot of it - especially with all the jumped-up security measures installed in support of The Reverend George Bush's wars of liberation in Eyerak and Afghanistan. Anyway their wishes would seem about to be granted. STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH has today had extremely hush hush inside information that the Embassy will be re-located to the Royal Boro of Lambeth at Vauxhall. The move will take place at very low tide with MI5 sniper security in place on top of a nearby building. The Embassy itself will fittingly re-locate to the Vauxhall Cross Extremely Open Plan Urinal. The Leader (so called) of Lambeth Council (also so called) Steve "Pissoir" Peed will perform the re-opening ceremony.

Wednesday, 1 October 2008


So far as Public Toilet provision is concerned, given Lambeth Council's current form there's no END OF THE CLAPHAM (and STOCKWELL) AFFAIR. This affair can't be laid at the door of old Graham Green, no siree! What we have is a well 'n' truly endlessly up shits creek Lambeth Boro' Council "Affair".

For a few hours a week (only late on Friday and Saturday nights) Clapham High Street is going to be blessed at St Lukes Avenue with an electronic (men only) pop-up "pissoir" - Lambeth out-of-date-and-behind-the-times Council relatively recently mis-dubbed their pissoirs as "Space Age" (>>>see<<<). According to the South London Press (15 August - >>>see<<<) this St Luke's pissoir installation work is going on a pace. But is it? Even if it does get completed it is an absolutely minimal provision.

In ascending order the above pic's suggest it's barely going on even at a snails pace. No work has gone on during the current week so far - there is just a hole (already dug) and barricaded off with >>> "street clutter" <<< . Not a pretty site and not a single worker in sight. A REVOLUTION it is NOT. (Clock the current raised "CLENCHED FISTS" front cover edition of LAMBETH Life - what utter bollocks from a truly motley Blairite crew. I wouldn't be that surprised if Lambeth Council so-called Leader and journo Steve Peed Reed doesn't produce a crap LAMBETH Life column to proclaim that the closure of Stockwell Toilets for 20 years has reduced Stockwell Toilets knife crime 100%!!

There's always the old fine Public Toilet at the Clapham Common "The Plough" intersection just 4 minutes walk from the St Lukes intersection. Kilroy remembers it well from his youth. Unfortunately (see above pic) its 24/7 locked barred and bolted.

Ah never mind there's still the pretty Public Toilet 4 more minutes walk away at Graham Green's Clapham Old Town. It's very pretty with a RED ROSE garden (see above pic) which must signify that it's another Newt Labour blessing. And it sure is 'cos its also 24/7 barred bolted and padlocked (see above pics).

Never mind there's always Sainsbury's during normal hours. Woops wrong there too! All this week so far its been un-useable (see above taped up pic).

Apologies for no picture of the very adequate Clapham North men's urinal which stood for decades at the Clapham High Street - Voltaire Road intersection - it got raised to the ground by guess who? Lambeth Council.