WELL DESERVED "BROWN" OBIT FOR "SHOOTING TIMES" KILLER JOHN HUMPHRIES. PLUS "BOOT HILL" PROSPECTS FOR BLOODLUSTING UK AFGHAN SQUADDIE.
"The UK's leading weekly shitting title since 1882!!" Wowee.
And below trigger happy ultra pathetic squaddie POTTER itching to get back home to kill a few rural innocents.
UK squaddie POTTER can't get enough killing in Afghanistan. Consequently he's just itching to get back to the UK to do a bit more killing against unarmed non-opposition. So he writes home somewhat tortured so as to let it all hang out and wins somewhat dubious SHITTING TIMES Yuletide "letter of the week" status. And he receives a BOOT HILL prize. So thus newly attired who knows he may just follow in John Humpries timely exodus footsteps.
Well any exodus for the likes of Humphries would be timely. Slightly cheering news in that Humphries was born after this blogger and has pre-deceased me so its not all bad news. Why its almost an IRON LADY exodus prelude. 'Course not all our Squaddies over in Afghanistan are itching to get home to do a spot of killing against unarmed other species just for fun and ra...ra...ra...recreation.
Strangely enough one harbours slight reservations about JOHN HUMPHRIES timely demise. Even maggots after death deserve a measure of respect and one has to recognise re HUMPHRIES' cadaver that it may even severely test maggot energies and enthusiasms.
Not a lot of non shitties know it but SHITTING TIMES mag ' is entirely produced every week from duly hunted down used lavatory toilet bum wipes. The SHITTING TIMES editor ALASTAIR BALMAIN knows a thing or two about re-cycling. The DAILY MAIL carried a news item marginally critical of the Shit Shooting Bowel Disfunction Fraternity and Alastair Balmain recycled it (7 Dec 2011) with with a dollop of his own rear-end meanderings added in the hope that the Mail will duly lay off.
CLICK HERE for more murky info from this neck of the woods.
BLINDSIGHTED DAVID HOCKNEY AT THE RA-RA-ROYAL ACADEMY. A POEM.
DAVID HOCKNEY AT THE RA-RA-ROYAL ACADEMY.
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David Hockney at the RA-RA-Royal Academy
oh my what a surprise
'neath teeming pretty-pretty
colourful flowery landscapes,
tree's 'n' endless open skies
hauntingly something was totally missing
'tho I strained 'n' strained my eyes.
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Telecommunications masts were painted in
'n' even a parked-up van
in one rural town
but not in any tree or field
or across wide open sunny skies
one single bird flew around.
On Hockney's somewhat sterile landscapes
ah ha there's still work to do
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'n' no sign of even bird nests
amid endless trees galore.
Not a single goat or even a sheep
or a grazing horse or two
not even a single butterfly
my doubtful mindset shaded blue.
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Biblical Animals made a brief appearence
in THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT.
Ah but maybe the RA-RA-Royals went along
to the Academy Pre-view
with their Purdey shooters 'n' beaters for fun
'n' did for all the missing creatures
like so many times over years an' years
they've oh so RA-RA-Royally done!!
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(Note - there were 300 plus landscapes etc., on view).
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In preference give me AMY STEWART's beautifully insightful earthworms study
"THE EARTH MOVED".
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I.C. after a 13 February 2012 disappointing R.A. visit.
LOO NEWS. QUEEN CELEBRATES 60 YEARS ON THE THRONE.
MORE "STAND UP" FROM ALEX BIGHAM STOCKWELL LABOUR PARTY LOCAL COMEDIAN COUNCILLOR.
Bigham is dead centre just to the right of "rough sleeper Bowyer".
BIGHAM's got a local political blog. He's been doin' "STAND UP" unfunny thingys with it for a couple of years now. He's just dropped a locally produced 4 minute video onto his latest blogspot - HERE - and serves it up with the truly flat earth one-liner that "STOCKWELL IS THE BEST NEIGHBOURHOOD IN LONDON". Woweee....
There is brief footage in the vid' of Stockwell awash with Old Bill and I have heard separately that the locality is again about to be declared "an exclusion zone" - obviously to combat criminally inclined goings on. And there was a significant multiple Stockwell drugs bust a couple of days or so before Christmas. And the criminal prosecution of those accused of the STOCKWELL ROAD armed shop raid on earlier last year has just opened at the Old Bailey. And others have just been convicted of the drive-by machine gun murder at Central Stockwell just between the bus stops in front on RICHARDSON COURT on the Clapham Road late last May. Not to mention the well armed youngish drugs guy who got sent down last year who'd been holed up in Portand Grove. Ah the list goes on. Never mind Stockwell "is still the best neighbourhood in London" according to local Councillor "STAND UP artist" ALEX BIGHAM. 'Course Bigham knows every other neighbourhood across the whole of London - you can stake your life on it .... I think NOT! He should change his surname to FLANNEL.
If only the once famous Old Brixton Express Variety Theatre venue (behind Morley's) was still doin' its stuff BIGHAM could pop in there between nearby Lambeth Town Hall musings and do a "STAND UP" spot - folk would be jeering like crazy from up in the gods thats for sure.
The said video doesn't have any footage of Central Stockwell's non existant local public toilets - in a budget cutting exercise they got shutdown in Sept 1988 by Lambeth Labour Party and Bigham and his infamous co-councillors have done precisely nothing to re-provide them. Course the VIDEO could have shown footage of folk regularly piddling either up the alley immediately adjacent to BETTER BOOKIES or adjacent to the Stockwell War Memorial into the bushes but wasn't that adventurous. Suprise! Surprise! STOCKWELL's 3 local LABOUR PARTY COUNCILLORS - really are "STAND UP" comedians. In fact BIGHAM's blog bye-lined STAND UP - means that it is primarily not much better than a JOKE! Bet the new PORTUGUSE COMMUNITY CENTRE that Bigham plugs over and over to get votes - its at KENNINGTON - has got toilets. While central Stockwell can just get dumped on eh??
News has just broken about this highly sensitive phone-hacking scandal. Whatever could the alleged hackers have been after? The mind boggles. Maybe there was a whisper on the 'Street that SADDAM or Hans Blix and Bomps A-Daisey were clients. Or dear old "I can't get enough of it Max". Cop's are staying tight lipped and 98 year old Chilcott still can't get the Government OK to release what he already knows. The Arab Spring is not yet believed to have been involved. It is understood that Cherie Babe has lowered her prices a little - even for Bankers - because of the economic down turn. The luxury apartment flat where Cherie's phone was installed is believed not to have been in Connaught Square. Maybe THE SUN ON SUNDAY will have all the lowdown. No No, not on husband Tony's IRAK WAR CRIMES - don't be so naive ..... chillcot out man. It is hoped that this blogspot will not depress that lovely principled downright lying git ALISTAIR CAMPBELL.
